We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize