Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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