I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
