Michael Bay diarrhea
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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