wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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