Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
