You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
