The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
