I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
