did you get engaged???
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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