my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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