New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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