We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i believe in u and ur pee
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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