i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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