my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize