It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
