Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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