please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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