Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
