Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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