he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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