4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
