And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
