I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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