it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
