How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
