I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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