I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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