A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
