Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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