Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
