What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
