Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
