how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
