If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
