hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
