So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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