I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
