it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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