Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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