i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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