she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
