there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
