don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
