Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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