like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
