My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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