Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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