sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
