My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
