I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
