His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
