I'm sorry my penis didn't work
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
