So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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