I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
