I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize