I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
