would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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